maybe you'll know what i'm thinking of. have you ever gotten fucked, like really violently, like someone wanted you dead, and in the middle of it, you earnestly and honestly really wanted to die too, to feel your breast split from your body, your spine a separate free thing, all of you out of you, your insides fucked external, you're there in front of yourself for the briefest moment, and then nothing, cuz after, you're in endless black orgasm. i think i want that for you more than myself. i think that has to happen soon, i think you have to die soon, and i'm gonna make it happen, my cock like a cannon deep inside of you, i want to separate you from yourself, no love, no passion, i'm just a machine, baby, i'm machinery, i only feel machinic whirring in my heart, i'm in love with myself more than anything else, and myself wants to destroy, i lay at that altar, day and night, erect, eternally erect, imagining myself attached to a bulldozer at a hip, i want to fuck sex itself, i want to roll in dirt, i'm a gun at the back of your head and i'm all of the hungry feelings biting and welling up in the back of my throat wanting to see how you splatter across a nothing nowhere wall. nothing nowhere hole in a head against the nothing nowhere brick. that's the species of boy i am. i'm in love with myself more than i could be anyone else and i'm like god right now when i feel manic like this and i could kill all of earth with my cock, my gun at my hip, an entire factory engineering the end of mankind at the base of me. no love for anything, i'm the thorn of the rose.